Notice: Termination of Services

To the bitch that drives me crazy

The asshole that drives me mad

Your services are no longer required here.

Your deliveries of angst to the suburbs of my mind

Are hereby cancelled

Terminated

I realize you’ve been employed for long years

That you felt it was a cushy position

And one that would

In all probability

Last for the duration of my life

Sorry

(but not really)

I’m repaving those streets

Remodeling the houses.

Painting the front doors red

In the suburbs of my mind

Where thoughts live

(when not at work)

In this process

While hot new asphalt is being laid

Burning and stinking with hot, level tar

I’ve realized what a fucking pain it is.

Having to work around your deliveries

Of annoyance

Of frustration

Of irrational rage.

So, I’m cutting to the heart of the matter

And cutting you out.

(To be frank, it grated that you expected a tip…

…after every delivery of bile)

We’re all cutting back these days.

We’re all “doing without”

It’s simple economics.

But who will deliver it?”

You ask me perplexed.

Who will bring rage…

…and condemnation

…and unwarranted superiority

to your door

(via the screen)

with such efficiency?

You do not really deserve a response

But I’m trying to be kinder

More forgiving

And giving

And so, I’ll answer

(Knowing you won’t understand)

If I need any of the things you delivered

On such a regular basis

The black looks

The half-truths

The facts unspun-yet-spun

The doom

And despair

And agony

(and other homilies)

I’ll step out the door

Take stock of the weather around me

The temperature of the air

The feel of the wind and sun

And if I still find myself wanting

Of the poison you used to deliver

I’ll get in my car

 Start the engine

And drive

To get it

Myself.

I’ve been toying with the idea of doing some “Art Shirts”… designs and work that I would do for gallery-style art, except doing them as limited-edition wearable “art” (signed and numbered)…

I’ve been toying with the idea of doing some “Art Shirts”… designs and work that I would do for gallery-style art, except doing them as limited-edition wearable “art” (signed and numbered)…

…and one more pic from last night’s show

…and one more pic from last night’s show

More pics from the @vanhalen show last night

More pics from the @vanhalen show last night

So, I was lucky enough to attend the “Friends & Family” dress rehearsal show last night for Van Halen’s tour.  I’ll be posting a couple of pics…

So, I was lucky enough to attend the “Friends & Family” dress rehearsal show last night for Van Halen’s tour.  I’ll be posting a couple of pics…

“DIE”, a Mini-Comic, coming to Wondercon

For those of you into comical bookses, I’m doing a ltd edition comic for this coming Wondercon (March, in Anaheim).  I’ve put the story, sans pics, up on my blog.  You can read it there, if you would like…

http://rantzhoseley.com/blog/?p=44

Also at SDCC…

In an effort to pay off medical bills, I am selling my personal 8 Artist Proofs of the limited edition version of Comic Book Tattoo. This is the leatherbound, gold leaf edition that went for $150 and was sold out on the day of release.  Since these are NOT signed by Tori, I am selling them for $80 each, and will do a sketch in each one (subject of your choosing). These are the LAST ONES, & are first come, first served, so if you want one, message me ASAP!

If you are not going to Comic Con, and want one, message me, and we’ll get it sorted for shipping and the sketch subject.

Commissions

I’ve always resisted doing commissions or sketches for pay.  I felt like “Hey, if this person likes my work enough to want a sketch, I should do it for free to show my thanks” thinking that it was a bit of karmic return, and that maybe, just maybe, that person would pass along good things to others in regards to my work, and maybe one or two more people would dig my work, etc, etc.

As Bill Hicks put it “I’m just planting seeds… whether they grow?”

However, I’m in a situation where now, I need to scare up some money. Badly. And I am not about to beg for donations, especially given that EVERYONE is having a hard time of it right now.  About the time Comic Book Tattoo was being finished (the week before it went to the printer in fact) my wife was diagnosed as having an AVM.  That’s a tangle of arteries and veins in the brain that look like a cloverleaf freeway, except there are no exits.  Blood, and pressure, build up over time and the mass gets bigger with each year, as does the chance it will rupture.  The percentages, and the rate of growth is frankly, scary as hell.  So obviously, this is something we had to deal with immediately, as we are talking about her life being at stake.  There are two ways of dealing with an AVM.  One is invasive surgery, the other is a procedure called Gamma Knife surgery.  With the former, there is (depending on which statistics you believe) a 10-15% chance of fatality during the procedure, and a 30+% chance of ‘serious motor function impairment’ (see also, paralysis).  With Gamma Knife they screw bolts into your skull and fire gamma rays down the bolts at varying intensity to kill the AVM cluster and tangle.  It can take up to 3 years for the AVM to ‘die’ from the treatment, which has meant a lot of follow up CT scans, MRIs and praying to whichever gods will listen that this works.

On the plus side, it appears to be working.  The mass has, with every MRI (done every 6-9 months) shown a marked decrease in size, and the Dr. is feeling very confident that the end result will be a positive one.

On the negative side, insurance would cover 90% of a craniotomy (the invasive surgery) but only a portion of the Gamma Knife procedure. (because it’s “unproven”… meaning it costs more than they want to pay.)  Which means we have been saddled with some truly insane medical bills.  I don’t mention all this to get pity or to get ‘freebies’.  EVERYONE is having a hard time, and I know that intimately.  I just want to be clear on WHY I’m doing this now… it’s not so I can buy a new monitor, or go to a convention… it’s because I can draw, and we need money, and so… I’m doing commissions for the next couple months at least in order to get some of these medical bills off our back.

Below is the price table, and the guidelines, specifics, etc.  You can see examples of my work here:     Please feel free to pass this on to anyone you know whom you think might be interested.  Thank you.

Prices per format (all prices are for pieces 8″ x 10″)

Pencil (Blue & Black) on Marker (translucent) – $10

Pencil (Blue & Black) on Bristol (Plate Finish) – $15

Ink (Black over Blue Pencil) on Marker (translucent)  – $20

Ink (Black over Blue Pencil) on Bristol (Plate Finish) – $25

Ink & Grey Marker on Marker (translucent) – $30

Ink & Grey Marker on Bristol (Plate Finish) – $35

Tattoo Designs – Variable -  eMail with request for price

Digital Painting  – Variable -  eMail with request for price

Oil Painting  – Variable -  eMail with request for price

RULES & GUIDELINES

* While I will do nudes, but will not do pornography

* I will not do work that is racist, or demeaning of a group of people.

* If the character or scene you are requesting is obscure or not well-known, reference images are helpful and appreciated.

* All work in the Black, White and Grey categories will be payable upon completion, with an email containing a .jpg of the finished art sent prior to the exchange of monies.

* Any “specialty” work (Tat designs, color work, oversized pieces) will be paid half in advance, and half upon completion.

* PRICES ABOVE DO NOT INCLUDE SHIPPING! – I will give you the full amount due, based on a.) your location and b.) how you would like the piece shipped.

* Yes, if I am attending a convention you are attending, you can pick the piece up at said convention.

* I maintain the right to put a copy of the commission on my site, twitter, G+, etc, unless you specifically request that I do not.

* Rates listed are for “personal use commissions”.  That means you can put it up on your site, show it to friends, hang it, or even sell it, but it cannot be used for commercial purposes (to advertise or promote a product for example) without written permission.

Samples of pencil, ink, and painted work can be found here:

http://rantzclutter.tumblr.com/tagged/RantzArt

http://rantzclutter.tumblr.com/tagged/RantzArt/page/2 (Marker sketches)

http://rantzclutter.tumblr.com/tagged/RantzArt/page/3 (color & pencil)

http://rantzclutter.tumblr.com/tagged/RantzArt/page/4 (more color pencil, and digital paintings)

http://rantzclutter.tumblr.com/tagged/RantzArt/page/5

If you are interested, please drop me a line at artcom @ rantzhoseley . com

(remove the spaces. Sorry, but spammers make it necessary)

Little Timmy’s Not Buying Comics - Part 2 of 4

(Posted from my blog over at http://rantzhoseley.com/blog/)

Continuing on from the discussion I started in Part I, let’s dive deeper into “what ails the comics industry”.  This has grown since the first chapter… in this part I’ll be discussing “Barriers to New Readers”.  In part III, I’ll be discussing “The Role of Content”.  While, in part IV, I’ll discuss some ideas & suggestions for possible solutions or directions.

Sidenote Preface: I am NOT going to discuss the Direct Market” vs. Digital vs. Online resellers, vs. Big Box bookstores.  THAT discussion is a whole nightmare beast unto itself and I want to keep this focused on the books themselves because, to be blunt, if the books aren’t compelling & nobody wants to read them, it isn’t going to matter where or how they get them.  First things first.

So, let’s assume that you have a potential new reader… he or she dug Big Movie based on an Ongoing Beloved Comic, and has decided that they want to get into it.  The last time they actually read a comic was in the 70s, 80s, or even 90s… they know you can by comics in a comic shop or bookstore, etc.  They have free time, and excitement in their heart, burning to read the adventures of The Hero in the form that inspired said Big Movie.   However, there are some barriers the potential new reader runs into…

Prohibitive Pricing

There’s no way to soft pedal this point… comic books, the floppy monthly or periodical forms, are idiotically expensive.  $2.99-5.99 immediately alienates the “tourist” market… the folks curious about comics, or those with an interest in seeing what they are about.  This is a discussion I have had over and over and over with people who do not buy comics, but LIKE comics, comic characters, or genre-style entertainment. (Working in videogames, film, and music for 20+ years, you meet a lot of folks like that.)  Universally, the phrase that is uttered at one point or another is “Yeah, it got too expensive, I just couldn’t afford to buy comics anymore”.

Now, I KNOW very well why comics are as expensive as they are.  Print monthly comics are NOT priced the way they are due to corporate greed.  I’d be the first one to speak up if that were the case. I saw all of the numbers for Comic Book Tattoo, and I know the costs involved in print reproduction, distribution, and retail sales, much less (if you’re a company that pays creators a page rate, or an advance against sales) monies paid to the creative team that have to be recouped.  Producing print monthly comics is a VERY prohibitive set of conditions when it comes to breaking even, much less actually making money.  That is the reality we face in a world where gas prices continue to rise, the number of outlets for monthly books decline, and there is only one distributor.  Combine that with a dwindling number of retail outlets… less than 2,000 venues in North America, and the majority of them simply cannot carry ALL of the titles released by the simple fact that they have limited shelf space and limited monthly cash they can allocate towards inventory without overextending themselves.

To put it simply, there’s very little room to move in terms of printed price point without losing your shirt in the process.  Comic Book Tattoo was a bestseller selling tens of thousands of units at a minimum cover price of $35.  The realities of the market made it such that it didn’t break even until well past a year after it was released… after winning both the Eisner AND the Harvey awards.  Every creator on the book got paid (including myself) on the “back end”, so I’m painfully, personally aware of how the market is currently stacked against bringing the cover price of books down. (Also note, 75% of CBT’s sales were in bookstores and online via resellers such as Amazon.  Now, imagine that same equation of trying to ‘break even’ with ONLY the direct market.)

In the mid 80s, when I started making comics, you “cut your teeth” and proved you “had chops” via indie/small publishers, often in anthology titles.  You’d draw a 10 page story that wasn’t your ‘dream story’ to prove you could do the work, and add published work to your resume, and you’d be kinda bummed that the title would ONLY sell 20,000 copies, and that you would ONLY make $2,000 on the back end. For drawing a 10 page story.  This was possible when you had thousands of comic shops, with  a plethora of monthly/periodical titles (quality aside).

To be clear, I’m not saying “there shouldn’t be print comics”.  I’m saying; with the current audience and consumer base we have, this industry is not sustainable, and prices are going to continue to rise.  The size of the number of habitually comic-purchasing customers has to increase, or we are going to end up having a world where monthly print comics become a thing of the past due to cover prices that alienate even the most hardcore, longstanding and dedicated fan.  To put the onus of ‘growing the market’ on the retailers is unfair at best, and too often completely removed from the realities they deal with every 30 days.  There’s a very clear and obvious way to change this, which I’ll talk about in part IV.

Focus and Frequency

Let’s assume that the odds and barriers do NOT dissuade Little Timmy from finding a comic shop and deciding that they are NOT going to go to a movie, or buy a videogame with their hard-earned $20 in monthly allowance.  (I use $20 as an example based on what I know my children’s peers at school get, in a mid-to-upper-middle-class environment in Orange County CA).  They don’t care that they will get 4-5 comics for their money, they are going to BUY COMICS, dammit!

But they’ve never bought comics before… so the idiosyncrasies of comic publishing pose another barrier.  Batman comes out once a month… but he’s also in Detective, and there’s this Batman & the Outsiders book, and Batman, Inc… “Do I need to buy all of the Batman books to understand what is going on?  If it’s all one big story why do they have it across different books?  What order am I supposed to read them in? So, if I like this Batman, Inc. book, I have to wait until next month to see what happens, or do I just buy a different book that continues the story?”.  These are all statements from 32 kids when asked “Why do you not read Batman?” after I had asked the same group if they had a.) Seen the Dark Knight movie (all hands up) b.) Liked the Dark Knight movie (again, most hands up) and c.) if they bought Batman comics after seeing the movie (NO hands up).  To be sure, this isn’t a “scientific poll”, but the answers reflect what I’ve seen over and over, and every time I do a talk on comics, or a workshop for a school, in big towns or small towns, the answers are very similar (after you get past the “I don’t know where to buy them” and “they cost too much”).

Comic Publishers put out multiple titles featuring the same characters in order to maintain the profile of the character, AND to capitalize on interest in a character (or team), making sure there is, every week, a book out featuring that character.  Putting out a half-dozen titles featuring fan-favorite characters or team on a monthly basis, with some titles tying in to each other, and some existing as their own storyline, diffuses consumer interest in the characters, AND whittles away their strength as a property.

To use a TV example, Let’s say rather than Game of Thrones being a weekly series, it was four different series, all existing in the same world and overarching storyline, but the first week of every month is “The Lannisters” the second week is “The Starks”, the third is “The Targaryens” the last week is the “Baratheons”.  It’s still the same “plot”, but the difference in that you lose much in the way of the building narrative pace, and your completely lose the ability to contrast and layer what is happening with the various factions as you play the threads off of each other.  The futility and folly of the war in the south is not apparent without knowing what the characters on The Wall are dealing with at the same time.

True, comics are different… but the entertainment audience is who you are targeting, NOT the comics audience, and this is what they expect.  Either a self-contained, focused experience (that may or may not tie in to a greater whole) ala films or novels, OR a weekly ongoing narrative that builds off of the previous narrative threads, leaving the audience (in the best examples) hungry for the next weekly installment.  Comics, with their multiple monthly titles per character(s) and team lacks that focus (the majority of the time) and all too often becomes byzantine even for those CURRENTLY reading the titles (see also, “Crossover Events”).

More to come in Part III

A Drink Recipe for NASA fans, and Space Shuttle Launch Attendees…

There had been discussion amongst those attending the launch of STS-135, regarding “What do you drink for the last shuttle launch?”  People mentioned “old school” (Martinis or Scotch in Highball Glasses) or 60’s-style tropical drinks such as Daquiris & Mai Tais.

Because I don’t have ENOUGH on my plate, I decided to come up with a “spaceflight” drink recipe. 

LIFTOFF  - A Spaceflight-Themed Cocktail, created for STS-135, final flight of the Space Shuttle program.

You will need

Sour Mix

Orange Juice (fresh)

Pinapple Juice

Grenadine Syrup

Ice

Rum (For the “Cape” Liftoff)

Tequila (For the “Houston” Liftoff)

Tapered Pint Glasses

In Blender, mix/crush on high speed

1 Part Rum (Or Tequila, if you are making a “Houston” Liftoff)

1 Part Sour Mix

2 Part Orange Juice

3 Parts Ice

In Pint Glass, fill bottom 1/8th of glass with Grenadine Syrup, irregularly streaking the sides of the glass around the perimeter as you pour.

Pour Blended Mix above carefully/slowly into pint glass  (so as not to “stir” Grenadine up) until glass is 3/4th filled. 

Top off Pint Glass with Pineapple Juice, add straw and garnish.

If you’ve done it correctly, you should have a three layer color strata, with red streaks, not unlike (in reverse) the fiery thrust emitted from a rocket during liftoff!